How Hawkeye #13 Helped Me Deal with Death


Hawkeye #13 made me cry. It’s not because I was emotionally attached to Grills. Although, I was fond of him and it was sad that he died. But as some of you may know, my uncle passed away last year. I’ve blogged about him a few times. We were close and he was the biggest influence in my life when it came to comics and geek culture. He took me to my first comic con when I was little. And he’s been even more top of mind because New York Comic Con was this past weekend and we would go together.

hawkeye013_2On Wednesday I headed over to Forbidden Planet to pick up my comics after work. I hadn’t been there in two weeks so I had quite a few to catch up on. I knew I wouldn’t get to them all that day, but Hawkeye was one of the top titles on my list that I had to read that night. If you’re a fan of Hawkeye, you know the series went on a little break, so I was super excited to get back into the world of Clint Barton and his crew.

Once I started reading I knew I was in for an emotionally heavy issue. But I had no idea how much it would end up affecting me. I was in Clint’s head. I felt what he felt. Which then in turn, brought up my own personal feelings. I saw myself in Clint. It was a comic about me.

After my uncle passed, I’ve been more sensitive to death, even fictional death, because I now have a point of reference. It’s easy to kill off characters in comics, but it’s not easy to make the reader connect to that loss.

If someone wanted to know why I love comics so much, Hawkeye #13 is why.


  1. I think fiction often help a person deal with grief. My father recently passed away, and for some reason what keeps going through my head is, “A Comedian died last night, and nobody cares. Nobody cares but me. .” (Which then strikes me as bad, because the Comedian was a horrible person… but I think it’s the sentiment being expressed more than the person being referenced. Of course, many people were upset by my Dad’s death not just me… )


    1. I’m so sorry for your loss, Paul. I can see why that line keeps going on in your head. Despite how everyone else is grieving, it often feels like a solitary experience. Despite the shared loss, each person has a unique way of processing it.


      1. Thanks, Jamila. My Dad liked comic books too, but his references were very dated. (Captain Marvel and Tales from the Crypt were the big titles when he was into comics. He also liked Captain Midnight and the Shadow, but those were on the radio.)

        I’m sorry for your loss too, and I know exactly what you mean. Because even though other people are grieving they tend not to talk about it.

  2. I haven’t kept up with Hawkeye so it sounds like I might need to! Glad to hear it’s helped you. Death is always incredibly difficult. Not to get super depressing, but after my husband’s Mother killed herself and our three year old goddaughter passing away from a terminal illness a month after our wedding (which she was supposed to be the flower girl for, but she couldn’t travel because she was getting more and more ill), we get through it but it’s still hard. Death is a part of life, but sometimes it can just be downright awful and hard to make sense of. Sometimes it feels surreal that we experienced those losses. Anyhow, looking forward to reading the comic! Thank you for sharing.


    1. Thanks for sharing such a personal story, Crystal. It is a part of life but there are ups and downs of dealing with. And you should totally read Hawkeye again. It’s incredible.


  3. What a touching story. It’s amazing how different forms of media can help us deal with real life issues and topics, especially death.


  4. Wow, that was deep. I heard Hawkeye was good but aside from leafing through a few, never picked one up. Looks like 13 will be the first.


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